"...and this baby here, oh man, she is special, a genuine work of art. It's all here, everything you'll ever need or want in a stereo system. This Big Mama is the creme de la creme. Look here see: One hundred watt remote rack stereo with Dolby B & C noise reduction surround sound, AM/FM six disc multi-disc CD player with digital audio, and here look at this unique eight band equalizer with bass Xpander, and even dual cassette decks capable of playing normal, metal, and chromium tapes, and etc., etc., etc., blah blah blah."

There I was lost in a maelstrom of audio mumble jumble jargon, stupefied by the plethora of scientific and pseudo-scientific terms used to impress and deceive the foolhardy audio component buyer. I was caught in the greedy pincers of a zealous salesman, dollar signs glowing where his eyeballs should be. All around me were speakers and bigger speakers yet, and then some even bigger--as tall as myself, and how could I even get those huge bassthumping simulated wood finish upright coffin-like beasts in my apartment had I been so immodest and frivolous to purchase such---

And then everything melted before my eyes and a mist fell about me. I could here nothing any longer--not even the riff sampled from 70's song overplayed Hammer music blasting from the speakers where some young Turk was checking out a system which would make him worthy in the eyes of his hommies.

I spun dizzy in a haze and then once again I started hearing all those beautiful words reverberating, dripping like honey dyed in rainbow indigos, reds, greens, blues-- dripping sugar sweet confections which exploded softly on the palate of my desires--words spoken from the glistening painted mouth of a seductress: tempting words:

"Digital audio tape, quartz synthesis tuning, LED readout, amplitude modulation, frequency modulation, 100 watts per channel min. RMS at eight ohms from 20 Hz to 20 kHz with less than 0.09 percent THD, surround sound, high fidelity, 8x oversampling, auto reverse, graphic equalizer, Hi-Lite scan and remote and random play and presets . . ."

. . . and I could see nothing but those red LED dots doing a pulse pulse pulse to the imaginary beat beat beats of my compact discs played so loud I could hear them in Bangladesh had I so desired and then suddenly a blurred vision fell into my mind's eye like a theatrical backdrop accidentally crashing down in the middle of a scene: I envisioned a single primal man, naked with long tangled locks of dirty black hair, and he was sitting astride a hollow log over which was stretched a thick animal hide and he was beating his primitive drum with bones dried white in the sun and intense rhythms bounced out into the jungles and floated up into the heavens and the primal man smiled and laughed as he pounded.

And I knew then that I no longer had need for all this state of the art super stereophonic shake the house and rattle the windows audio equipment, for music isn't about the loudest speakers and the biggest coolest record collections and the fanciest CD players and the most expensive receivers. Music is about the primal rhythms and inflections and emotions of the human spirit--of existence--and it all comes down to the simplest most elemental component of sound: the beat--and that comes from, finds its essential nature in the most original and ancient instrument of all the ages: the heart. It is the heart resounding with the beat of life which is the principle reflection of all music.

And now I was aware of where I was and was filled with enthusiasm for my revelation and I began to yell out all the details of my vision and deride all those people purchasing their music, buying all these gadgets and gizmos which adulterate the pure crystalline beat. I ripped off my clothes and ran about the audio store encouraging everyone to listen the beat of their hearts, to hear the real music.

I screamed in frenzy, "Do not forget what music all about. Do not be fooled into thinking that you need all this gadgetry. No one makes their own music anymore. Everyone just buys it. I encourage you all to make your own music as I am about to do. I am now off to find for myself a simple hollow stump and I will stretch animal hide across it and beat it with sticks and bones that I may find, and even with my very own hands. I will beat it to the rhythm of my own heart. I will sound my own lifebeat into all the world without aid of equalizers and effects or mixing boards or amplifiers."

And I ran out of the audio store hearing in my head the bam-bi bam bam bi-bam of the pure crystalline beat which will persevere forever and ever--even if it sometimes gets lost and forgotten in the din of overamplified distortion.